Dialectical Thinking: Learning to Thrive in the Uncomfortable Middle
Here is what I have learned in my almost 48 years on this earth, with 26 of those years helping people improve their lives through life coaching and wellness, along with 20 years of being a parent to 2 amazing humans:
>> Life is a duality of competing experiences and emotions. We often want to wait “until things are settled” or “until we are happy” to take the next step in our lives, instead of recognizing that happy and unhappy can and do co-exist. Until we give ourselves permission to cry when we need to, and then turn right around and laugh when something is funny, we’re going to be stuck.
There will be times that the volume is louder on the “happy” and that is when I want you to dig into your growth, wellness, and development. And, there will be times that “unhappy” will be louder, and that is when I want you to lean into the wellness-supporting habits you’ve built and solidified during the “happy”, to help you through a tougher stage.
>> Achieving the goal isn’t actually the goal. Arriving at that “destination” is only a doorway to your next journey. The day I got my black belt? That was the day I realized how much more there was to learn.
The person you become to reach the goal you weren’t sure you could? THAT is the real accomplishment.
>> Stuff doesn’t matter. Your relationships with those who are important to you, how you make other people feel when they are with you, and how you serve others-this is what matters.
And there may be a duality here for you. Yes, we can have nice things AND build great relationships and serve others. If your mind is “either-or” here, reflect on why you believe that. Is there programming in your life that sounds like “money is the root of all evil”, leading you to believe those with money have done something wrong and can’t possibly be good people? You’ve got some unpacking to do here.
>> We have one, very short, shot at life, BUT most people aren’t willing to do the work it takes to be the best version of themselves. Many people are stuck in the duality here of feeling scared to take the next step because there is a lot of work to be done, AND wanting more out of their life. Sit in this uncomfortable middle…..be scared AND reach more. I do it every day, and you can too.
Message me if you want to learn to thrive in that uncomfortable, messy middle. Though it may be messy, it is magical!
Cheering you on,
Deanna