The Most Important Relationship

Here we are at Day 8 of our 45 Days of Wellness. Of the 6 wellness components, emotional, relationship, spiritual, financial, physical and professional, today I am going to invite you to consider something that falls within the relationship wellness area, that is, the relationship with self.

I’ve been connecting with folks about this idea recently through the Reclaim 2020 Wellness Coaching and Fitness program as well has on a recent appearance of Healthy, Wealthy and Wise’s Relationship Wealth TV, and it has resonated with many, many people.

The most important relationship that you will ever have, is the one that you have with yourself. Why? Because it will impact all other relationships. As a parent, for example, the Emotion Focused Family Therapy model teaches us that when we react to our child with something such as criticism, this could perhaps stem from a shaming relationship one had in their childhood. Until we recognize our current emotions and how past relationships have programmed us to see ourselves and to respond to others, we may have challenges having healthy relationships with others.

So, how does one reflect on their relationship with self?

First, what does this mean, "the relationship with self"? We can think of this as:

-how do I feel about my value and contribution to others 

-how do I feel about my ability to handle challenge, learn more and adapt to new situations

-how do I feel about the ability to be successfully independent

And then this begs the question, so, how do I actually check in with self? 

I often suggest a three step process:

Step 1: evaluate your current roles.  Do these current roles that you are filling, allow you to serve in the way that you wish?  Are these current roles healthy for you (that is, do these leave you feeling positive and energized or do they leave you feeling drained and upset?)

Step 2: Evaluate this information gathered in Step 1.  How do you feel about what you have identified?  Is there something you're doing/not doing that is holding you back from what you really want? How does this make you feel about yourself?

Step 3: Give yourself permission to write a new chapter in the story of your life.  If what you're doing isn't fulfilling you and lending to your wellness, may be it is time to move to something new. 

Friends, you always have permission to write a new chapter without feeling guilt or regret. This is your journey and you have the right to steer the ship in the direction you wish.

Please reach out if you need help with creating this new chapter.

You are a gift to this world, and deserve to show up as you were truly meant to be.

In kindness and good health,
Deanna