Are You in a Toxic Relationship with Fitness?
If I were to ask you “do you work out”? What would your answer be?
For many, the answer is “yes I do”! Followed by a list of their exercises or a description of their program.
But, for countless others, as I have discovered after being a fitness pro for more than 2 decades, the answer can be a toxic one and can be wrapped in shame, guilt, anger, and frustration.
I want to be clear, I love the field of fitness, health, and wellness. I firmly believe that fitness pros are life-changers and can make THE difference in someone’s day, week, year, or sometimes even their life. This is true now more than ever before when we’ve seen this pandemic decimate our field, AND we’ve seen fitness pros rise and continue to serve.
I am proud of what this field has done for people.
Now, that said, to the darker side. What are those, not-so-subtle messages that we receive from this field?
Perhaps,
-you must be a certain size, body type, gender, colour, to participate?
-exercise is a means to an end to burn body fat, burn calories, and achieve the above-mentioned body type/size?
-exercise is a tool to punish your body for eating too much or drinking too much?
All of these, no matter how harsh they sound, is, heartbreakingly, many people’s fitness truth. And many people have developed a very toxic relationship with fitness. As such, they choose to forgo anything “fitness-y”, to the detriment of their health.
For another point of clarity, the words “health” and “wellness” are often used to disguise “skinny” or “thin”.
So, let’s be clear when I say health, I mean things like:
-lower resting heart rates, and lower resting blood pressure,
-the ability to move through your day without pain,
-the ability to do what you want to do, meaning, pick-up your child/grandchild/puppy, etc.,
-improvement of, and/or support of, our mental wellness.
These are some of the things I want you to think about when WE talk about health and wellness.
AND, can you think back to a time when you enjoyed some type of movement. Not necessarily formal “fitness” (although that might be for some), but when did you enjoy moving-jumping, skipping, dancing, biking, walking outside …..whatever it might be for you?
And what happened that made you stop moving? Did someone say something mean about your abilities or body type that shamed you into thinking that movement wasn’t for you? NOT shame on you, friend. SHAME ON THEM.
It is time to let that identity go. I empathize with you, friend. And have had my own experiences. It’s true, I don’t live in a larger body, and for that, often people think I can’t possibly understand their struggle. Well, part of that is right, I can’t understand exactly what you’re dealing with. But, having grown up in a weight class-based sport, my self-worth as an athlete was tied to my weight. I can’t tell you the number of times I received the message of “you’re so good, if only you weighed less you’d be more successful”.
For me, this time period of my life was using exercise for two things: 1) to better my skills to win and 2) to control my body weight. I still want to win at all that I do, but now, I move because it helps me feel stronger physically and mentally, and brings me joy to have the privilege of moving with others.
Okay, so what now? Where do we go from here? I invite you to consider your relationship with fitness, and although this might sound harsh, do you continue to buy into the stories above? The ones where people told you you didn’t belong because of this, that, or the other thing they decided didn’t make you worthy of moving your body?
Calling bullshit on that my friends. Our bodies are gifts for us to move in whatever way we wish and in whatever way they let us. And, as a fitness pro myself, I am sorry for the way some people and programs in this field have treated you.
Now, let’s get moving! With the joy and fun we all deserve!
If I can help untangle some of the challenges you’re experiencing, either through inclusive, fun fitness classes, wellness coaching, or both, please feel free to book a free call here, and let’s chat! https://www.deannalangfordcoaching.com/booking
Stay well friends,
Deanna