Coaching, Personal Growth, and …..Brake Lights?
On Tuesdays, I am fortunate to spend my days teaching a fabulous group of students about fitness leadership. And, what this fun-filled day also means, is that I have a commute to get to the college at which I teach. Now, that commute should be about 45-50 mins AND, commuters, you know that is almost never the case.
My morning drive in, is about 1-1.5 hours, and my drive home, between 2-3 hours.
What the heck does that have to do with personal growth and coaching?
Well, on the surface, it is time management, “take-every-opportunity-for-learning”, and gratitude reframing opportunity. That is, when I knew I had a commute starting up again in September, I really leaned into how grateful I was to be getting out of the house and seeing people again in person! And, I knew I now had some time to use, so each week I continue to download a variety of podcasts to listen to on my drive. Great learning opportunity! (and I am going to share a list of my favourite podcasts soon-there are some gems I’ve discovered!)
And on a deeper level, was the realization I had last night on my 2.5-hour drive home. Last night I saw ALOT of brake lights. One of the things I have really leaned into through my own personal growth journey over the last few years is really noticing how I am feeling and responding in situations. As well, looking at the feelings and responses with interest, and not judgment as judgment gets us nowhere, while interest and curiosity keep us on the path to discovery and growth.
So last night, I noticed a feeling of a bit of excitement and relief as the traffic slowly cleared and I was able to speed up. And then? Brake lights. Ugh. And then? We would speed up again. Woohoo! And then? Brake lights. Ugh.
And yes, the pattern repeated. Now, a few years ago I would have been tense, frustrated with a side of road rage for the folks who would cut me off in this process. Last night, I made a connection (and I love a good analogy!) between life and this traffic. When things are going well, and we’re moving “at the right speed” we feel great and expect that this will just keep going. And when those “brake lights” hit, we can get frustrated, angry, and look for someone or something to blame. We are letting our emotions take the wheel when we experience the “brake lights”.
When we step back, in a wise mind, rather than an emotional mind, we can see that the probability of clear roads OR heavy traffic is very likely similar. Like life, sometimes things are smooth sailing and sometimes things are congested, confused, and inconvenient. It is when we expect constant good times, that we can really get down when some bad times hit.
What can serve us more effectively, is allowing ourselves to acknowledge the emotions we’re having and then encouraging ourselves to take the next steps towards what we really want. After all isn’t what we really want to reach our destination or goal, rather than just sit in frustration?
And at the same time, let’s face it, we all sit in frustration sometimes, right? So what actionable steps can help us grow?
Notice your times of smooth sailing. Be grateful and joyful AND know that this doesn’t last forever.
Breathe when you experience the “brake lights”. When we hit tough times, pull on the skills and tools that can get us through these times in the healthiest way possible. AND know that this doesn’t last forever.
Always continue to build your skills and tools for dealing with tough times. This is a large part of personal growth.
Turn on “your GPS” and look for a new route if your current route is only brake lights. There is ALWAYS more than one way to get to a destination. And if life has taught me nothing else, sometimes we have to create our own route to get to what we’re after.
Honestly, this analogy also explains coaching. A process to help us get from where we are to where we want to be, while along the way, helping us deal with the “brake lights”, AND being a GPS to help us see other routes available to get to our destination.
What lessons have you discovered in your everyday activities? Please share because we are stronger together!
With kindness,
Deanna