7 Pillars of Self Care

Thank you. For taking the time to prioritize your wellness today. We are hearing about self care now more than ever before. And to be honest, it doesn’t mean that it is more important today than it was 6 weeks ago. What I feel is happening are two things:

1) In times of crisis we’re more motivated to find things we can do to mitigate perceived risk. What does that mean? Let me ask you: have you had the experience of going to the doctor, and the doctor checks your blood pressure, and it is sitting at a “high-normal” level? Maybe somewhere around 135/85?

Doctor’s advice: get more exercise, cut out processed foods, drink more water, eat more vegetables. What happens when you leave the doctor’s office? Perhaps a stop at the grocery store to pick up some suggested items, a google search of the nearest fitness facility or online programs. New routines begin for you….for a little while. And then what happens? The distance between present day and that doctor’s appointment grows and you remember more of the “normal” part of your blood pressure rating rather than the “high” part, and you fall back in to old habits.

2) Secondly, many people have more time to research and participate in self care habits at the present moment. And these things are seemingly more available as so many have turned toward the internet to stream classes and workshops etc.

A little tangent here if I may, but you’ll see the connection in a moment. What is coaching? The definition of coaching in it’s most simple form is “getting people from where they are, to where they want to be”. And I will add to that: “by asking strategic questions that help people see things in a different light, recognize how powerful they are, and get out of their own way to achieve things they never thought possible.” Sort of a cheerleader in your corner, but with a side of (respectful) drill sergeant.

Sounds easy right? Maybe. Maybe not. And why on earth am I adding this right here? Simple. If I were your coach, I would need to call BS (in a respectful, kind way) on the excuses you’re making that are getting in the way of your goals. After all, that’s my job as your coach. In #1 above, I would ask you: “you clearly believed, after that doctor’s appointment, that improvement of your health was needed. What has gotten in the way of the positive changes you started? AND, “What are you going to do to get back on a healthy track”? AND “What day will you start.”

Why all of these questions? Because your self care is always critical, and only you can make it happen.

About question #2, I would state, “we make time for things that are important to us. For everything else, we make excuses.” And then ask the questions: “what is getting in the way of making time for your self care?” “Where are you spending time on unessential things that could be re-directed to caring for yourself.”

Again, why all of these questions? Because your self care is always critical, and only you can make it happen.

Let those things sit with you for a moment. Make note of the thoughts you’re having around self care. Especially if you’ve discovered some of the things that have been barriers to action for you in the past. And remember my message when we’ve discovered something new about ourselves: do so without judgement. Look at it with interest, and think about possible action to move you towards your goals, rather than wasting time and energy on judgement.

Now, if there are a number of thoughts about the above running through your mind, take 5 deep breaths, letting go of those thoughts. And consider, it may be easier to put those thoughts aside if you’ve written them down for future reference. Your mind might be more willing to let them go.

Now, lets talk about the key areas of self care, that I have noticed are difference makers for myself and the people I have worked with over the last few decades. These are in no particular order of importance.

7 Self Care Pillars:

Each of these areas is much more detailed than my simple statements for each, BUT we need a manageable starting point.

1. Movement and exercise. Everyday move at a pace that increases your heart rate and breathing for 30 minutes. Additionally, move for 10 mins out of every hour. Nothing fancy-walk up and down the stairs, or stand and do 10 squats or seated reach up and pull with alternating arms like you’re climbing up a ladder for a few minutes.

2. Hydration. Drink your water. Start with the good ol’ 8 x 8oz of water each day. Proper, consistent hydration is a game changer for our mental and physical health.

3. Nutrition. Don’t over complicate this if it is going to turn you off from improving nutrition. A simple starting point: review the number of servings of veggies you have in a day. And begin to increase that by 1 serving per day over the next week.

4. Sleep. How do you sleep now? 7-9 hours per night, of good, solid sleep? If not, begin to identify what’s challenging you. It is trouble falling asleep? Staying asleep? Review your pre-bedtime habits around caffeine intake, alcohol intake, food intake, screen use, negative news exposure. Limit or eliminate all of these. If you’ve got time on your hands right now, go to bed earlier.

5. Stillness/Mind space/meditation This will look different for everyone. Meditation is something many people swear by, so that’s certainly a consideration. Lots of free apps to help you get started. There are a few meditation podcasts starting as well.

And this area doesn’t have to be specific to meditation. The important piece here is to recognize that our mind needs to rest like our body. You wouldn’t spend all day walking around with a 10 lb weight doing biceps curls would you? No, because you know for optimum growth and performance, our muscles need rest. The mind needs quiet too. Where can you find that? Maybe in the shower, paying attention to the sound of the water. Or, out walking enjoying the sounds of nature. Or, sitting in your living room and just starting out the window. Make time for stillness in whatever way feels right to you. And note, if you’re a “busy-brain” start with smaller increments of quiet time-maybe only a minute or two to start. And you’ll become more comfortable with quiet. You’ll also be amazed at how clear and focused your mind becomes.

6. Fun/social interaction. We all need things to look forward to that are just for fun. Times are different at the moment, so, what can you plan with these different opportunities? A zoom get together? Watching a new, silly TV show? The Masked Singer is one of our current family favourites-its silly, surprising and good-natured (i.e. no nasty drama)

7. Spending time in nature. Even just stepping outside your front door for a few minutes and taking a breath of fresh air can make a difference.

As a note to finish, don’t change all seven at once. Perhaps pick one or two per week to focus on and when they become more habitual, add another.

And recognize that some days, you’ll be on fire and able to tackle them all. Other days that might be harder, will call for you to simply chose one that you can control for that day. Be kind to yourself.

Please reach out if you have questions, or wish to discuss further. You can use the “contact” page through the website, or email me directly at deanna@deannalangfordcoaching.com

Be kind to, and keeping caring for yourself,

Deanna