Whose voice is that anyway?

Close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Picture in your mind, the achievement of a goal that you’ve been working on. Or, the achievement of a goal that you have always wanted to accomplish. Whatever the goal, you’ve done it. Successfully checked the box. How do you feel? What do you see? What do you hear?

Now, let’s move back to the time you became aware of setting that goal. Where were you? What were you doing? Who were you with?

Repeat the goal in your mind. And then again. And once more.

Whose voice do you hear? Your voice? Your spouses? A parent? A friend?

The importance of this exercise, that can be widely applied to other areas, is to ensure it is your voice on the journey of goal achievement. That is, that it’s truly your goal and your choice.

Much of what I do as a coach is helping people achieve their goals. And, often, when we dig a little deeper in the process, we realize what one has been aiming for, is actually someone else’s dream, someone else’s goal. My job as a coach is to help you achieve what you want. Not what your mom told you you should be. Not to stay in the lane that your friends are familiar with. But rather to prioritize and work for what you truly want.

Mentioned above, this idea can be applied elsewhere. 100%. Where? Decision making. Self-talk.

Now let me be clear with decision making. When we’re wrestling with a decision, we often ask for other’s thoughts and input. This can be helpful to see things from a different point of view to be sure. That being said, I encourage people to be very thoughtful when the line between what you really want becomes fuzzy because of input such as “but you’re a nurse, why would you want to write a book. You’re not an author.”

How about self-talk? This is a big one. First, remember that our self-talk can be empowering or crippling.

Empowering = “hmmmm, I wasn’t successful in achieving the goal this time around. I realize that I need to learn more about the topic and I am sure I’ll get it next time.”

vs.

Crippling = “I failed. I knew I wasn’t smart enough to do that.”

We can be our own worst enemy or our greatest cheerleader. And then, add to that the fact that a lot of our self-talk began as someone else’s voice, we can be fighting an uphill battle.

So, let me ask you first, are you aware of your self-talk? Have you ever written down the things you say to yourself? And then repeated them out loud….listening for whose voice you hear?

Its a great tool to help you begin to sort through the noise, and hear your own voice.

Now, I don’t pretend that this is easy. Not at all. Being brave and living according to your voice, your dreams and your goals, when others don’t support you, can be extremely challenging.

But, let me ask you, who has to live with the decision? Not your friend. Not your mom. Not your Aunt Sally. You. This is your life, and I encourage you to live bravely, finding and following your voice.

Reach out if you need help calming the noise and bringing your goals to life.

You deserve to live the life YOU want.

In kindness in health,

Deanna